Some spouses are extroverted and social. Some are introverted and quiet. Depending on which personality you are—and which type you married, it can be frustrating—for both of you.
So, what do you do if you want your spouse to talk more often? Here are 10 ways to get your spouse to connect.
10 Ways To Get Your Spouse to Connect
1. Have more conversations involving subjects your spouse is interested in. For example, a friend of mine loves cars. He doesn’t say much—unless I bring up cars.
2. Allow blank spaces in communication. Sometimes, if you allow silence to persist, your spouse may actually start talking.
3. Ask open-ended questions and don’t interrupt.
4. Read a book together. Sometimes, this can open up lines of communication. Some couples will take turns picking the book.
5. Spend more time together. When you engage in activities together, you create mutual things to talk about. Plus, the quantity of time will usually be commensurate with the quantity of communication.
6. Go shopping together for something your spouse wants. Often, a spouse will talk while he or she looks for something they want.
7. Manage life well together. Fatigue is the enemy of deep communication. When someone is tired, they often don’t have the energy for long conversations.
8. Battle tech distraction. Looking down at your cell phone consistently makes people want to talk to you less. I have wanted to say “no” to lunch invitations because I didn’t want to watch my friend talk to other people.
9. Have some “nothing dates.” You are probably wondering, “What is a nothing date?” A nothing date is when you go out together and do nothing. No movie. No dinner. No activities. Then, the only thing left to do is talk. The more you do it, over time, the more you’ll like it.
10. Pick on your spouse and make them mad. Nothing gets a person talking like good, old anger. Figure out what really bothers your spouse and do it over and over. It won’t be long until they are talking and talking passionately.
Now, for the test. Which of the ten should you NOT do? If you missed that question, read this post again immediately.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.