How often do you pray for your spouse? My husband and I are prone to trust in ourselves rather than Jesus. Fortunately, God decided to fill the Bible with stories of people with the same problem. How kind and wise to let us know we are not alone.
Recently, an announcement was made that negatively affected my husband. Long story short, my husband simultaneously went into fight and flight mode when he heard the news. Disappointment, hopelessness, and justifiable anger welled up inside of him. At the time of the announcement, I was sick in bed, away from the cares of life, high on episodes of When Calls the Heart. I didn’t mean to climb onto my high horse, but hearing the news of the announcement combined with my husband’s distressing reaction disrupted my world quite abruptly.
…We do not know what to do, but we look to you. —2 Chronicles 20:12b
Going from Control Freak to Praying Spouse
I was about to start another episode. This unwelcome news prompted me to get on my husband’s case for responding so rashly and negatively. Babe, quit being so negative. It’s not that big of a deal. Where is your faith?
I may not have said those exact words, but that was definitely the spirit behind whatever I said. When my husband decided to respond impatiently to my impatient and dismissive response, then I lost faith. Instead of staying calm and trusting that God would work it out in His time, I pointed out my husband’s flawed thinking again and then played him five minutes of a sermon I had listened to earlier that day. I wish I were lying.
After hitting things in the garage for a few hours (thankfully, he was already in the middle of a small building project), my daughter reminded my husband that he was filling in for me at VBS because of my illness.
Joy. He dutifully rounded up the kids and headed out the door.
While he was gone, I prayed about the situation, especially my heart toward my husband. I asked God to forgive my arrogance and intervene in the situation.
The next morning, I woke up feeling better than I had in five days. I poured myself a cup of coffee and flipped open a devotional book. It was so good I almost left it open on my husband’s desk. I decided against it. He was already gone anyway. I had totally forgotten about his early morning coffee date for work.
Later that day, I learned that the man my husband met for coffee was a fellow believer with a handful of striking similarities to my husband. I also learned he was a compassionate listener with insight and understanding into the exact matter my husband was facing. As they sipped coffee together, my husband was awestruck by the God-ordered timing of his meeting with such a man. He came home different than he was the day before.
My husband’s coffee date which had been on our calendar for weeks, was a direct answer to my prayer for God to intervene in our situation. This, of course, is right in step with the nature of our God who goes before us, mysteriously working things out for those who love Him (Rom. 8:26-28). What grace that He accepts our flawed faith and responds with such generosity!
Later that day, I happened to check a prayer calendar I often use. On the date of my husband’s meeting it read: “Lord, I pray that through You, my spouse is released from stress, anger, and anxiety. Your perfect love will drive out all fear.”
That is exactly what God did in my husband’s heart—without my help—but definitely in accordance with my prayers.
Grace Marriage Mission
What situation is burdening you right now? Are you tempted to try and control the situation or your spouse as a result? Tell God about it and ask Him for help. God’s invitation is waiting to lay your burdens at His feet and trust Him. Will you say yes?
Prayer: Jesus, help me to trust You through every trial, especially trusting You to lead and guide my spouse. Help me remember to bring my problems to You by faith. My eyes are on You!
Melissa Gilmour is a home-schooling mom and recovering perfectionist who finds freedom within the boundaries of God’s Word. She enjoys rearranging furniture, uninterrupted conversation, and coffee with her husband. She is known to curl up in the fetal position when she hears her five children rouse in the mornings.